Living and Dancing in Soft-Time
Spin
Inside the Creation Stories of Dancing Mother
Living and dancing In Soft-Time
by Mother Mother Binahkaye Joy
When the Open Studio activated in October 2024, I attempted to create a hybrid soft-time and in-person, active-time experience. It was a beautiful moment and also not at all sustainable for my life rhythms then or now. The heavy lift of gathering my children and meeting at a set time in public space to dance with others is too much for me to carry. Just getting out the door by a certain time takes enormous effort, coordination and patience. As a car-free family, traveling primarily by foot, bus, and train—and wearing a baby on my body—the journey to get to wherever we’re meeting is full of variables outside of my control. Travelling is also always physically intense, and when it’s raining we are also managing the added weight of each drop of water in our bodies.
Oftentimes when I do arrive at the magical location where I’ve invited others to dance with me, the cumulative weight of all it took to get me and my children there, the innumerable mommy labors, snack distributions, bathroom runs, miles walked, buses caught, munchkin conflict resolutions, and all the other swirls that come with being out in the world with our children—that weight is what I then have to dance with. Its gravity becomes the primary partner in my movements. I’ve grown accustomed to it all. Even though its heavy, I can make something beautiful still.
“Oftentimes when I do arrive at the magical location where I’ve invited others to dance with me, the cumulative weight of all it took to get me and my children there...that weight is what I then have to dance with. Its gravity becomes the primary partner in my movements.”
In moments like these the movements that I can access are much smaller, peeping through the ever present pockets of possibility slowly and sporadically. They are mighty movements too because they are what’s possible in the midst of all the other energies I have to navigate. The subtle dances that dare to make their way up the vertebrae of my spine, over the hills of my tight and achy shoulders, beaming out from my outstretched arms, and oozing from my feet treading slowly across the space, are phenomenal. They are that audacious clump of grass pushing through the concrete, shouting, proclaiming, Yes, I’m still here!
As a dancer I can recognize the power and the purpose of my tiny dance activations. And having been learning how to dance with my children for over a decade now, I am well-practiced at being with the constant fluctuations and slippery, fluid nature of sharing space and time with them. And still it becomes more and more apparent to me that I have my most generative movement making moments outside of collaborative, active-time sessions with others. This is because the softest most expansive pockets for my dance discoveries are at home where I can be naked or almost naked, and where my children can move freely in (mostly) supporting themselves with essential life matters: food, play, bathroom, rest.
“The subtle dances that dare to make their way up the vertebrae of my spine, over the hills of my tight and achy shoulders, beaming out from my outstretched arms, and oozing from my feet treading slowly across the space, are phenomenal. They are that audacious clump of grass pushing through the concrete, shouting, proclaiming, Yes, I’m still here!”
When I dance at home, my body is lighter because I’m not carrying the load of a mother’s public space responsibilities. And I can move without the layers of clothing needed when we have to be out in the world. I don’t have to cover my breasts, or keep my feet protected from the cold, or worry about showing my underwear. All of this helps me access a deeper, warmer, more vibrant movement story in my body.
When I have that softer space at home and when my children have more spatial supports, I feel like I can spin, twist, and leap my way across the galaxies. In this soft world I am open, free, wondrous.
“This is because the softest most expansive pockets for my dance discoveries are at home where I can be naked or almost naked, and where my children can move freely in (mostly) supporting themselves with essential life matters: food, play, bathroom, rest.”
The next best thing to being at home and dancing naked is coming upon a sweet, luscious stretch of time and space in a sunny spot where the grass is soft, the kids can run, scream, and eat, and where the closest bathroom isn’t too far away. It usually takes several hours of wandering to find our portal in public spaces. That’s also why it can be challenging, and not as fulfilling, to meet up with someone else in this way. Unless they’re willing to just be for hours, and to migrate through the space with us from point to point—and not stress about accessing something particular or meaningful in the box of time they’ve set aside to dance—it’s not mutually enjoyable. And the dance is most lovely when we all feel we can really breathe.
As a multitudinous mothering entity, sharing my movements with others is most joyful in soft-time practices because soft-time is where I can breathe best. It’s taken me years to realize this, and to stop trying to make (force) these physically, site-specific, collaborative space and time experiences to happen with others. Arriving to peace has been slow, but it feels so good.
“I feel like I can spin, twist, and leap my way across the galaxies. In this soft world I am open, free, wondrous.”
It warms my heart when people who explore Dancing Mother’s soft-time portals share how the offerings are supporting them in having majestic moments inside their dance practices. This is what I’ve been trying to communicate in everything I do for so long—the dance we do with ourselves is what is most vital, always. Whether or not anyone listens/reads/watches what I offer, I always encourage them to make the most space in their days for their own movements first.
My soul prayer is that we who can feel the call in our bodies, that we fill our most precious minutes and hours with the creation labors that are most sacred to us. For me those are my dance communions, mothering expansions, and fertility revivals. These are the labors that sustain my very life energy.
“My soul prayer is that we who can feel the call in our bodies, that we fill our most precious minutes and hours with the creation labors that are most sacred to us. For me those are my dance communions, mothering expansions, and fertility revivals. These are the labors that sustain my very life energy.”
“As a multitudinous mothering entity, sharing my movements with others is most joyful in soft-time practices because soft-time is where I can breathe best.”
Photo Story: Screen stills from a longform sunrise dance communion, revival season 2024, Mother Mother dances in the morning with her children on and around her bare body, and while doing sacred nourishment labors with a baby at the breast.
